Hi guys! Long time, no blog! Life has been busy but God impressed upon me to write this out. He was talking to me about the folks (me lol) who have a high pain tolerance. Not only physically but emotionally. I will speak for myself and say that sometimes this has been worn as a badge of honor. However, the more I have pursued healing and restoration in my own life, I have stopped viewing having a high pain tolerance as such a positive thing. Stick with me here.
Having a high pain tolerance means that you can take more abuse, or withstand a painful situation much easier than someone else. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t take the same hit, it just means that you didn’t FEEL it as much. So, in looking at that, you may not even understand the damage that you experienced. I want to challenge you all as I have had to challenge myself, to look at areas in your life that may have become numb due to constant abuse, neglect, or other painful contact.
Some of us are bragging about how easy it has become to carry the weight, instead of laying it aside as the Bible instructs. OUCH!
I’ll give you guys a personal, practical, real life example. I had my son at 9 lbs 1 oz with hardly no pain medicine. Pushed him out in 2 pushes. 2 days later I went home and cooked my family dinner. My mom was there. She has watched me do the same thing basically my whole life. Not be affected really by trauma or other huge occurrences. Just push passed it. She talked to me and told me even though I didn’t feel anything at the moment, I still needed to rest even if I felt like I didn’t need it. I was in auto-pilot even though I had JUST HAD A BABY!
It took me a while to realize what she was saying but eventually I did. Moving passed things rather than addressing them properly, will catch up to you one day. The conversations you didn’t have. The heartbreak that you never talked about. The fear you never faced. It will come back to you. You will have to deal with it one day or it will deal with you. I had to look in the mirror one day and realize that I wasn’t as healthy as I thought I was. I was “strong”…nah…I was really kinda dead/numb. A functioning numb-aholic.
I want to encourage you all to let God heal you. Really do an inventory of yourself. We are not to boast in our strength. We are to allow His strength to be made perfect in our weakness. It is ok to be weak. It is ok to say “that hurt”. It is ok to cry and show that something affected you. God doesn't just look passed our hurt, pain or sorrow.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. - Psalms 56:8
You are human and God is a restorer. Don’t be afraid to say you are broken. In the words of Benita Jones, “God does His best work with broken things.”
Until next time, be big, be balanced, be blessed.